I came across this quote inside an incredibly powerful and important piece by Miranda July. (Author of “All Fours”)
“Keep an eye on death and who you want to be as you near it.”
As a Grief Educator and Soul Coach, the beautiful souls I cross paths with are, in general, at a crossroads. The choices we make as ‘adults’ can be layered with patterns laid down in childhood. Some good. Some horrific. Some traumatizing. Whatever words we use to describe the experiences, it all comes from our own lens and perspective.
Yet there is personal work that we might hesitantly meet as we mature and age. We can be surprised as it begins to focus on unexpected aspects that were hidden beneath the surface of daily life. Death. Loss. Grief.
If we don’t keep an eye on this inevitable end, we may miss the meaning of life. What do I mean? Well, perhaps we forget to be present with the moment and those we are with.
When we focus too much on the past, we become depressed.
If we focus our attention on avoiding or worrying about the future, we become anxious.
This, of course, is a simplified explanation – so please contemplate it with compassion and care. Especially if it activates something inside.
As we move forward, year after year, eventually we notice there are more years behind us, than we have in front of us. This happened to me when I turned 55. I began to hear about people passing. Or a family friend that we thought would live forever is suddenly gone. Life starts telling us where we are in our own timeline.
So how do we walk next to death and the grief that we collect along side it?
Practice presence.
Love fully. And we practice receiving love.
Appreciate the people we are with in the now.
Offer gratitude often and with heart.
Love our life and all its chaos, with as much acceptance as possible.
Finding ways to express ourselves with radical authenticity is key – the kind that is sometimes awkward, yet it’s bold, courageous and quirky at times, but it’s also fun and kind and incredibly satisfying.
At the end of the day, or life as it were, what will you wish for yourself? Our eventual death belongs only to us. Dying wisely, and with love for the life we were gifted, is the end game. It’s all that matters. Ask anyone who’s dying. What’s important to them is almost always the same.
1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
2. I wish I didn’t work so hard
3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings
4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
5. I wish that I had let myself be happier
~ from Bronnie Ware, The Top Five Regrets of the Dying – A Life Transformed by the Dearly Departing
So, it’s in my awareness now, as I begin the autumn season of my life. How I will live life is with my awareness in the present, and gentle eyes on the horizon. I’ll let you know how it goes along the way. I’d love to hear your thoughts on this too.
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